I have control issues. And this COVID mess is wrecking havoc on things and taking control away from me. Now that we are back at school, my issue is helping with their online school. There are days where we finish their assigned lessons early, so I am trying to find things to fill in the time. Some parents see this as a break, and let their kids just do what they want (Watch tv), but I feel that if they were in the school building, 2:00 PM is still school time so it needs to be filled with something semi-educational. But is what I am giving enough? Am I enough?
There is that terrible question. It brings even the greatest days down to nothing. Am I enough? Am I doing enough? Is this good enough?
In similar thoughts, when I give to the church or someone in need, is it enough? If I give with a giving heart, it is. If I give with reluctance or bitterness, then I am withholding God's love from that gift. 2 Corinthians 9:7 tells me "each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." I need to give from my heart, not with hesitance or because of manipulation or guilt. It continues with the fact that God completes every gift. When a gift is given, he can make the work in giving abundant, making sure the giver has what is needed. And he can take that gift given and make it a great harvest. As I am giving myself (whether money or physical work), I am serving God. And if I do this work with a generous heart, I am being obedient to his word.
Jesus was the greatest gift ever given, and nothing I do will ever match that gift. However, if I follow God's word and give with a generous heart, God will multiply my gift so it will always be enough. I am enough. I am good enough. Even as a secondhand teacher, if my heart is open to my children, I know I will give them what they need, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I am enough.
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