Submission: It’s not that Weird (Ephesians 5:21-33)

Ephesians 5:21-24 Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Be subordinate to one another. How would this work? As Christians, it would mean we put others first. We should not have a selfish attitude but act as a team. This might mean being sincerely happy for someone who is succeeding even if we are not. As Christians we are no longer individuals. We are all in God’s army. Which means we are under rank of the church and should follow the rules of the church. Just as when someone joins the army, we essentially have signed away our “right” to decide what we want to do with our life, with our body, with our soul. We have to give that to God completely. We have to realize that we are not more important that the team as a whole.

Paul is trying to make a parallel connection in Christian marriage between husband and wife to the relationship between Christ and the church. The wife should serve her husband in the same way as the church serve’s Christ. The husband should in turn care for his wife as Christ cares for the church. Again, in a marriage, we are part of a team. The individual is not more import than the team. Submission means we are agreeing to be under the mission of God for marriage. To obey and glorify God a husband and wife. Not being below or inferior to our husband, but below the mission God has for our life. 

Wives are called to support their husbands as a pillar supports a roof. We are to support him in his mission to serve the Lord. We need to fully abandon our love of self for the love of our spouse. This works both ways. Again, our self wants and desires should not be more important than the team, the unit, the marriage. 

This submission is NOT a free-for-all for a husband to be abusive or neglectful in any way. Our mission is to love our spouse as Christ loved the church. Turn to Corinthians 13 to recall what love is:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

There is so much I could say on this topic, but I would be here for days. Do not fear the word submission. Read your Bible. Find good Christian studies on true submission, and what it really means. Here is one of the many posts I have read: https://loveworthchasing.com/2021/08/14/should-a-wife-be-submissive-to-her-husband/?fbclid=IwAR1Ur9IrQAaQAfEECvuh6TFKx0EjvrG-sH9oazFjPOCq3uZqtudeLdCm-zI

Thank you, God (Ephesians 5:15-20)

Ephesians 5:20 giving thanks always and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father.

We have so many things to be thankful for. If you are reading this, you have some sort of device you can be on the internet with. You either have the internet or have some sort of service, or have the ability to travel somewhere there does. Most importantly, if you are reading this, you are alive today. 

We need to thank God for all the things in our lives, no matter how trivial they seem. Thank God for your mode of transportation, even if it’s just a bike or your own two legs. You are moving. Thank God for your house, even if it is too small and over crowded. You have shelter. Thank God for your shower, even if it’s not always functioning or you don’t get to use it every day. You have a water supply. Thank God for your pantry, even if it is only canned meat and ramen noodles. You have nourishment. The hard times in our lives may seem to go on and on, but keep praying. God has blessed you with spiritual gifts. Look above you and thank God. There is a heaven waiting for you. 

Exposing Darkness (Ephesians 5:1-14)

Ephesians 5:11 Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them

Paul tells us we as Christians have come out of the darkness. We are the light. We must live like we are the light, helping those who are still living in darkness to come out. We cannot be fooled by empty promises or words. We know God’s law, and we know what is right and wrong. He tells us not to avoid people who are in the darkness, but the works of darkness itself. We are not to turn away from people who are struggling with sin. We are not promoting the sin, we are not tolerating the sin, we are not accepting the sin. We are merely loving the person, as Jesus called us to do, and it is possible that our love can help be the light for that person. 

This can still be a fine line to walk. Loving a person who is living a life of sin can still bring about questions. I would say it takes a lot of prayer to know that you are still following God’s calling about loving them, but making sure we are not falling into the trap of darkness. Attending events promoting things that we believe are wrong is not a good way to show love. Praying for them, letting them know you are praying for them, is. We must expose the darkness they are in, and not let ourselves get caught in the lies and webs. It is a constant battle between good and evil. We must always be prepared. It will get darker before it gets better. 

We must love them as ourselves. We need to be patient with ourself and open ourselves to God’s grace. We must encourage those who are struggling with sin to do the same. They need to understand they are still God’s child. And that God wants them to turn back to them. And we need to be patient with them. It takes baby steps to come out of the darkness. We must celebrate every step forward, every crack in their heart that allows the Lord in. Let us rejoice in their successes and be with them if they slip back. 

Examination of Conscience (Ephesians 4:25-32)

In addition to other sins we can think about easily during an examination of conscience, these verses are some we should pray through as well. You already know if you have gone to Mass on Sunday. But have you grieved the Holy Spirit (verse 30)? Did you let your Bible remain closed as you read through another novel? Did you say “I don’t have time for prayer this morning” after you scrolled through social media for 30 minutes? Did you allow worldly things to take you away from time with God?

Have you been generous with your time with your spouse? Have you paid attention to their concerns and put away falsehoods (verse 25)? Have you allowed resentment and bitterness towards your spouse to take root (verse 26)? Or allowed for misunderstandings to cause anger or mistrust? Have you manipulated your spouse to get your own way?

Have you spoken sharply or sarcastically to your spouse, children, friends, family, etc. (verse 29)? Have you spoke in a demeaning way? Have you injured someone through taunting or teasing? Have you gossiped about your spouse? Your children? Have you undermined the authority and dignity of your spouse? Have you undermined the role of authority in the eyes of your children by speaking negatively against God, the Church, your spouse, or others who hold authority over them?

Have you cared for the spiritual needs of your children? Have you taught your children the gospel and commandments? Have you prayed with them? Have you disciplined when necessary? Have you been lazy and apathetic? Have you taught them forgiveness (verse 32)?  Have you been a good Christian witness in all that you do?

Have you been frustrated or impatient with your spouse, children, family, etc (verse 27)? Have you treated them with respect? Have you fostered hatred toward “political” enemies? Have you been prejudiced towards others because of race, color, religion, or social status?

Have I lied about my work? Have I been lazy in my job, calling, or ministry? (verse 28)

These are some really deep, thoughtful and soul searching questions. Any yeses here requires asking forgiveness. I actually have a questionnaire on my phone that I keep to do a deep examination before I go into confession. Sometimes we don’t realize the little things we have done because we keep focus on the big ones. Paul reminds us that if we are in a new life in Jesus, then we should turn from all the old ways. That includes turning away from anger, lying, falsehoods, cheating the system, using foul language, and taking time away from the Holy Spirit to enjoy worldly desires. 

Put on a New Self (Ephesians 4:17-24)

Ephesians 4:22-24 that you should put away the old self of your former way of life, corrupted through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created in God’s way in righteousness and holiness of truth. 

I went through a rough patch in my life. I said I believed in God, and I did, but I certainly didn’t follow my spiritual teachings. I followed my desires, clung to the things of the world. Drinking, relationships outside of marriage, sloth, envy. I lived there. I thought I could get by my sinful ways by just asking God “if you let this happen, I promise I will straighten my life up.” And it seemed to work, so I kept on in those ways, just figuring I could ask for forgiveness later. Well, it caught up to me eventually. I kept asking, “if I could not get pregnant, I’ll stop being intimate with this person.” And 3 weeks after getting engaged, I found out I was pregnant. (close to) Top of the class, goody-two-shoes, Catholic girl got pregnant before she was married. Definitely not a good way to represent the church.

It took a long time after having my baby before I leaned into the pull towards God. I was so angry for a while, mostly at myself, for being a hypocrite. How can I call others to God when I made this mistake? Well. Not a mistake.  It I definitely got called out on my sin. Can’t pretend to be a good follower in the front row of church pregnant and unwed. Can’t be a church leader/grower when you didn’t follow the rules yourself.

But I learned later that I still could! I still could be a follower of Christ. I had to just forgive myself, turn back to God, shed my previous way of life. I renewed my mind, and let God have all of me. This all started when my baby, who wasn’t a baby because she was going into 2nd grade, was getting ready for First Communion. How can I lead her to Christ if I wasn’t showing the right examples? So I started learning, asking questions, reading, researching. God moved us to a new town for my husband’s job, and put me in the path of some really awesome Catholic women, and they helped me grow. Now, years later, I am helping lead others. 

It wasn’t easy turning away from the desires of the world. I always felt like people would still think of me as being hypocritical. Like, how could you tell me o live when you made your own mistakes.  I did, but I turned from them. I want better for my children, so I have to live it. I want a better world for their children, so I have to help build it. We all need to build up the church that Christ gave us, and to do that we need to turn from our old ways. Like a butterfly, we have to shed our old self and embrace the new.

We are one Body (Ephesians 4:8-16)

Ephesians 4:15-16 Rather, living the truth in love, we should grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, with the proper functioning of each part, brings about the body’s growth and builds itself up in love

In the previous verses, Paul explains that Jesus gave some of the people specific gifts so they can help set a solid foundation for the church. He uses the phrase “build up the body of Christ.” He didn’t mean a physical building. The first saints that Jesus gave specific jobs in his ministry were to help build up the Church, so that people could have the unity of faith in God. His call was to strengthen the faith and belief. To help others mature in Christ. When the church continues to help its body mature and grow together, where every part does it share, it will thrive. 

It is hard to turn sinners to Christianity if the Church itself doesn’t show stability. Why would anyone want to be part of a group when the rules keep changing to meet the world’s desires. Just like in politics, people will make a great deal over a candidate who “flip-flops” his/her political beliefs. Think of it another way: as you need a stable body to accept a new organ or transplant, you need a stable church to be able to take in a sinner, someone longing to find the truth. Otherwise, the person longing to find Christ may reject the whole thing because the church hasn’t prepared itself as a functioning body for Christ.  

We are all called as Christians to grow in Christ’s love, to strengthen the body of the church.  Not for ourselves or our own image, but instead to unify the church around a common faith. Faith in God. What can you do to help build up the church? It takes us all. We are all one body.

We Should Love First (Ephesians 4:1-7)

Ephesians 4:1-2 “lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,”

If we truly understand what God did for us, what Jesus did for us, we would lead a life deserving of his love without thought. We should want to abide by God’s law and his calling without doubt because of what he has already done for us. It shouldn’t be about living a with disregard, knowing that he forgives our sins. We should be living doing our best NOT to sin in the first place because of him. 

In all situations we should continue to fall upon the thought of Jesus on the cross. He suffered and died for me. If I continue on this path, am I doing his death Justice? Or am I just slapping him in the face? In what ways can I live better? I can certainly work on being gentler. That is never an easy way for me. But I know that when I am harsh, and I see my children’s face, I know I have sinned against Jesus’s calling for me. Every day I need to put Jesus first instead of my own impatience. I need to put love first.