Monday, October 29, 2012
So I haven't written in a while and here is why: I had my 10 year high school reunion the last weekend of September. I quite enjoyed seeing what my classmates are doing with their lives. That next week Jeanne stayed at her Noni's house,so Shawn and I enjoyed some alone time, as I knew we needed with my charting. :) On October 19, I knew I was pregnant, and a test confirmed it. I was through the moon!! Watching my temps and chart did work for me. Shawn was so happy also. We began talking with Jeanne about being a big sister. I was planning to announce it to my family on Thanksgiving, because that would allow an ultrasound to have taken place before then. This past weekend I noticed my basal temps to start dropping. Then I started spotting today. I took another test and much to my dismay it was negative. I called the nurse and she had me come in to take blood for HCG, progesterone, and beta levels. But now I am having a period flow. So I am not hopeful for the call tomorrow. I am having a miscarriage. I have cried most of the day. Yes I know I have a beautiful daughter to be thankful for. Yes I know many women go through this. Yes I know I was very early. But it doesn't make it any less real or my heart hurt less. If I hadn't been charting, I probably would have just thought my period was late. My chart says otherwise. I lost my baby. I will be ok. Not today. Probably not tomorrow. But eventually I will. I know I will. I have to believe that. We will try again later. Maybe in a few months. I am not in a hurry.