Do you trust me?

Worry is a big issue. By definition, it means to allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. Worry affect people of all ages. For a mother, a new worry starts when she finds out she is pregnant. Pregnancy is a big loss of control. Basically, God is saying, "Do you trust me?" What a BIG thought! Do I trust God with this new person being knit in my womb? Do I trust with every morning of morning sickness that this is for the best? Before I felt the first movements, did I trust God? When the baby was quiet, did I trust God?

Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with your whole heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

Trust is not always easy. It wasn't easy for me. I let fear control me. Fear of when the 20 week scan showed that her bones weren't quite the right proportion. Fear let me believe I needed to have the amniocentesis, even though there was a potential for it to hurt her. Then my fear gutted me as I saw them needle on the ultrasound machine getting so close to her, as it was obtaining amniotic fluid. It was 10 years ago, and I remember clear as day my baby backing up in the womb, away from the needle. From that moment, I swore I wouldn't ever let anything hurt her. Out of fear.

Then we have the child, and we worry about what to feed them, when they will walk, when they will speak, etc. We fret at night if they cry. We run ourselves ragged without a second thought to trust in God. Is the house baby proofed? Did the sitter take CPR? Had I trusted in God the many, many nights of walking my second baby because of his colic? No. I know now that even if I had trusted Him, the colic may not have been easier, but I could have handled it better. We worry over schools, riding bikes, dangers of crossing the street, grades, dangers of every day. Again, God is asking, "Do you trust me?" Do we trust Him with our child's life? The very life HE knit together for us? With this child that HE knew before we ever did?

Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."

When kids go to college, that is another BIG loss of control. The first 18 years of their life, your child has been yours. Yours to protect, yours to feed, yours to monitor their choices.  Now they are their own person, moving to another place. I'm not here yet, and won't be for a while. Instead of being afraid for this change, I have learned how to trust in God in small, daily things.  I pray daily that He will protect my child in their endeavors. And I am teaching them to trust in God. I have several years until that next step happens, and I hope that in the mean time, I can continue to grow so that my trust in God will be bigger than my fear. I pray for those whose children are preparing for college. I pray that they feel God's arms around them, and that they can be reassured that they raised some great kids. And God will always be with them.