So I wrote this rant last week on Facebook about what not to say to a pregnant woman. It really just amazes me the audacity some people have. Or lack of filter. Or common sense...
I don't understand how people think certain comments are ok. Especially the ones about a pregnant woman's size. I had someone tell me during my first pregnancy I looked like I would go any day. I was 6 months pregnant! So for the last three months, I thought I was huge and was embarrassed. I WAS NOT HUGE. Not at all. But comments like that towards women at a time when they already feel less attractive because of their changes does not help.
What the commenters fail to understand is they have no idea who this person is. And even if they know them, they may not really "know" them. They may not know that this person is already a mother, with 1, 2, 3, etc. kids running around at home, and she is beyond exhausted and doesn't see the point in dressing up to go to the grocery store. She isn't Kim Kardashian and why the hell would she want to be??
Or they don't know that this woman is struggling with her first (or sequential) pregnancy and the thoughts of "is my husband still attracted to me?" Sometimes, this goes through even the strongest woman's head and heart. Physical appearances are put to the front line entirely too much in this country. I hate to tell ya, but Barbie would look like a whale if she were pregnant! Ok, maybe not, but I like the thought.
They may not know that this woman will be a single mother and is just simply struggling in general.
People don't realize how a simple statement can make someone's day. She doesn't need to hear she is small for this point. That will only make her worry she is not gaining enough weight, and may be hurting her baby. She certainly doesn't need to hear the reverse. The best thing you can say to any pregnant woman is simply "You look great, dear."
And on the same topic, the question of "Are you gonna have another?" and "Don't you think it's time already?" are just as rude. You don't know the couple's story! Maybe this pregnancy was hard enough on the mother and she just wants to focus on having a healthy delivery of this one child before thinking of another. Maybe they have been trying for years to no avail. You don't know if this couple prays every day for a child, and this statement is just a slap in the face. Either way, the couple has probably put their childbearing life in God's hands, and it is up to Him. SO BACK OFF.
Rant over. :-) Yes I feel better now.