I am currently reading The Doula Guide to Birth by Ananda Lowe and Rachel Zimmerman. After reading the introductions alone, I wonder why we don't have births like the women did a hundred years ago, with other women by our side to support us. Why have we gotten into the mindset that we don't need help, and can manage this (birth and post partum) on our own?
I remember times of sadness and feeling alone after my first delivery only have my mother say "You are fine, you need to learn how to deal." Because that is what she was told I guess.
We need someone supportively saying "You will loose sleep, romance, freedom. It is perfectly ok not to soothe every cry. You don't have to do everything yourself." Just as we need someone to say before we get married "It's ok not to always agree. Don't be afraid to rock the boat. The first few years are HARD, but you will get through them." Especially since most girls grow up with this fantasy idea of the perfect marriage and being a mother.
I continue to look forward to this delivery after what I have learned and continue to learn. I am so happy that I found a doula who will help me try to obtain the experience I want so that my husband and I can enjoy the birth of our second child. And I looked forward to my daughter to be a big sister.