Slow down

Have you ever had those mornings where you had the day planned, all kinds of things you needed to get done, and then one of your kids throws up? I am sure we all have. I remember this happening several time when I was getting ready to head to work when we lived in Little Rock. And it was always me who had to call in, saying I couldn't make it in because I had a sick child. I can remember a certain person who worked there with me that had the notion that women should be at home, and would always make small remarks about it when I (or another working mother) had to call in for a sick day. "Another day off? Well, my wife doesn't need days off for sick kids because she gets to be home every day with the kids." It was so frustrating because I felt like I shouldn't have to defend my decision (or our need) for me to be working. Especially working at a job I loved, helping solve issues most people can't fathom. I was just so aggravated to have to call in and put my work on hold because my child couldn't go to daycare. I felt that I was being judged by others for my failure to show up (besides my own casework, I was also the Quality Manager and Trainer for my section, so I wore a lot of hats) as 3 young kids, two born 18 months apart, require a lot of time off.

So, now back to today, I was so frustrated because I had plans to do things with the kids (as school is out today, and they are all home) and now they are on hold. I feel defeated because I don't get to do things for them and didn't get to do things for me and blah, blah, blah. Instead of falling into the frustration laid out in front of me like I used to, I stopped and prayed. And in those moments, I saw every time I was sick as a child, and my mother put her life on hold for me. And I remember I am not alone in my struggles. I am doing an online study of Isaiah through the First 5 app, and one of the quotes posted this week was "I want to quiet my heart to hear God's voice above my fears."-Lyli Dunbar.  This week, I read how the people of Israel turned to their neighbors for help when they feared an intrusion of their enemy, instead of turning to God. And so God allowed their enemy to attack them. Instead of being quiet and listening to God, instead of having faith and trusting in God, they turned let their courage fail. "Unless your faith is firm, you shall not be firm" Isaiah 7:9b

So I need to trust in God's plan. I need to not let my courage fail because I didn't get my way, and things are not always in my control. As I prayed about today's undoings, I realized that God wanted me to just slow down. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens." God made everything under the sun for us. Every detail was planned, and God's timetable is perfect. Whether I get to finish all the plans I had made for myself, I need to realize it is not about me. God gave me these precious children to take care of for a time. And if one is sick, I need to slow down and tend to him as God would for me.  Whether things happen when I want them to or not, God has plans for me. 

I wish back when I was working, I could have had this Women in the Bible study. As I am reading through the Women Leaders, I could have prayed for courage like Esther had and the humility that Phoebe, Damaris, Euodia and Syntyche had in regards to my work, my coworkers, and my faith. Even today, humility and patience in our work without seeking recognition is a big bite to swallow. I need to remember that I can do nothing without God. Everything we have was a gift from Him. I need to slow down, quiet my heart, and trust in His Will for my life. Even day to day.

A quote from Kelly Brown from my Isaiah study, "The greatest gift to mankind- salvation- also required the largest sacrifice- Jesus's crucifixion." Our lives may be temporarily difficult, but these lessons can be eternally significant. I can sacrifice my time for someone else's needs, especially when that someone is my sick child.