Unconditional

So, I am getting closer to the end!! I still have 2 weeks until my due date, so I am doing my best not to be impatient or complain about being “ready” to go. I am having the end of pregnancy pains and aches, but I know each one is my body working to prepare for the big day. We are all getting very excited for our little one’s arrival. Jeanne thinks she is ready, but I don’t think she fully understands what it means to have a baby in the house. All the babies we have over all go home at some point. LOL

So I have been continuing my prayers and focusing on our marriage since I completed the Wife After God devotional. I feel like I am doing a great job of opening my heart completely to my husband more. Of course I still catch myself falling back sometimes. Then today, someone posted on my Facebook wall a list Five Deadly Terms Used By A Woman. That person told me I should show it to my husband. I deleted it pretty quickly, so I can’t remember what all it said. I think one was “Wow. This is not a compliment. She’s amazed that one person could be so stupid.” I deleted it because I don’t think it’s funny, and I do not need to share it with my husband. After all the soul searching I have done to help myself be a better person, wife, mother, the last thing I want is for someone to see that and comment to my husband about it.

I try to not let issues get to me and then be bitter towards him because I don’t think he deserves my love, like I used to. I do my best to mean what I say in conversations to him, and love unconditionally.This is a very hard concept to take on if you truly think about it. I think it is even harder to like unconditionally. I have always heard people say “I love you, but I don’t like you right now.” It is very easy to fall into that, thinking that your husband doesn’t deserve your full affection right now because he _______ (fill in the blank). Through the bible passages, readings, and continuous blog posts by others, I have realized that train of thought is ridiculous. Would I want God to say, “Ada doesn’t deserve my love and attention today because she did ________”? NO!! If I had a conversation with Jesus admitting my sins, would I want him to say “That’s ok,” and him mean “I am thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake”?? NO!! We are told in Matthew 18:21-22, “Then Peter went up to him and said, 'Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?'  Jesus answered, 'Not seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times.” So how is it ok for me to hold things against my husband when I am hoping that Jesus forgives me for my fallouts, forgetfulness, negativity, and sins?

So I challenge you to not “like” or even comment on such postings, pictures, shares, etc. that have women talking down on men/husbands. If someone ever posts such things on your wall (if you have social media), please delete them. This is not a good representation of how women should act.

Fun Times

First, I wanted to share some of my maternity photos that my great friend took. We met at War Memorial Park last Saturday morning. We got a bunch of poses and she did a great job for being an amateur.

While Shawn was away this weekend, we had some much needed Jeanne and Mommy time. I took her to get a haircut, and she cried the entire time. It was a bit overwhelming for me because I kept telling her she needed to calm down or she was going to get a time out. I could feel other parents staring at me. What did they want? Me to rip her out the chair and leave? She needs to overcome whatever fear she had. The lady only trimmed her hair. No biggie. Jeanne calmed down of course as soon as the lady was finished. Ugh. I wanted her to get her nails painted, but she lost out on that due to her crabbiness.

Next we went to the mall. I had planned previously on taking her to Build a Bear to make a new friend. She had recently found a special stuffed animal I bought for Hunter and decided it was hers. I let her play with it a few days, thinking she would get over it as she does all the other toys she has accumulated from family, but no. So I thought if she made her own animal that she got to pick out, it would help. She really enjoyed making it and loved her new friend. She did try to find Hunter's animal a few times, and I had to keep telling her she had her own friend and she could no longer play with Hunter's. I am hoping she will forget about the giraffe after a few days.


We ate lunch at Chick-Fil-A and I was planning on taking her to see a movie yesterday afternoon. Well, once we got home, I was exhausted. We did a lot of walking at the mall. Then, she didn't take a nap (meaning neither did I), so the movie was out. I took her grocery shopping (more exercise for me) and she enjoyed that just as much. She has only been to a movie theater once, so she really wasn't bummed about not going. We made homemade cinnamon rolls for dinner, and they were fantastic!!

We planned on going to a splash pad at the park this morning with one of her classmates, but she woke up with a cough. Shawn is on his way back now, and we are both looking forward to his return. Check out this shirt I got from unveiledwife.com and am so excited to wear! It will have to wait a few more months though. Get yours now! Oh and that is the infamous giraffe. Isn't he cute!!

Never take things for granted

As I sit here in bed, sipping a good cup of Community Coffee, I'm listening to my little girl snoring softly next to me. Her daddy went visit friends for the weekend, so I let her climb into my bed last night. My little boy is already kicking away in my tummy. Oh, how I have enjoyed this pregnancy, even through the sickness and aches. I look forward to meeting him

In a few weeks. 

As I look at my beautiful daughter, my heart fills with sadness and joy. Sadness because she has grown so much in three short years. Joy because I look forward to being a part of her journey as she continues to grow and discover new things. I remember her being so little and wanting her to learn to walk, talk, and be more independent. Now there are times I wish she would sit still, not be so loud, and need me a little more. Ha!

With my husband out of town, I realize how much I have depended on him these last few weeks. How much I miss him. How much I love him. And this makes me realize I need to show him how I feel when he is here. My husband is a wonderful man who works hard each and every day to help our family. And he is such an awesome father. 

It's funny how once they leave for a few days you realize how much they mean to you. At least I know he will return at the end of the weekend. I have someone close to me who lost her husband very suddenly 2 years ago. Everyday she goes through the sadness of him not being there. I don't think she ever took him for granted. She knew how amazing he was and his children knew he was a awesome father. But as I am reminded of her loss, I realize I need to take the time every day to appreciate my husband, and tell him how much I love him. Because you never know when God will call your loved ones home. 

Nearing the end!

So with about 6 weeks left, I am trying to finish all my lists and get everything ready. We already have his bed set up and his part of the room decorated. I have his clothes washed and saved as well as his cloth diapers. My coworkers decided they have to throw me a shower because this is my first pregnancy with them. So I did the painful task of making a registry at Babies R Us. Painful you ask? Yes. It was terrible trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to put on my registry while looking up and down the aisles at the store. At least it wasn't as hard as the first pregnancy when I had no idea what I needed.

I have entered the "end of pregnancy fatigue" stage. It hit me like a ton of bricks this go round. Probably because I am chasing a toddler around after a full day at work. But, I find myself laughing a lot these last few days at work and I feel extremely happy. So, I think I am doing well.



I have completed the devotional Wife After God, and am so happy I bought the book. See my review here. Whether he sees it or not, I feel closer to my husband. Being a little more worn out lately, it is harder for me to be as excited as I should be when I see him, but I am trying. It is the little things that count. Starting with hugs when he (or I if I am later) gets in from work, praying deeper for him and our marriage at night, telling and showing him that I love him are all things that are working to make our marriage closer.

I have found a new website to follow, the Happy Wives Club. Today's article is titled "The Husband Gratitude List." After reading it, I think I will start one in my journal that I did the devotional in. So to start my list, 1.) My husband is a wonderful father! Have you started your list yet?

Wife After God book review

So for the 24 days, I have been reading a devotional titled Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband by Jennifer Smith. It is a 30 day devotional that encourages women to pray for themselves, their husbands, and their marriages. By praying and becoming closer to God, you can potentially strengthen your marriage. Each day starts off with bible passages to focus on. Then Jennifer shares the message for the day. She offers a prayer, then issues a challenge for the day, as well as give a few questions for you to answer. She also has a Facebook page where she encourages daily participation with more questions.

I have prayed for my husband since we were married 3.5 years ago. I would simply thank God for my husband and ask Him to watch over my husband. But since starting this devotional, I have really been praying for him more passionately. I thank Him for the special gifts my husband and I each offer to our marriage and ask Him to continue to allow us to have our hearts open to each other, for example. I feel there has been a result with my deeper prayers. I am starting to see my husband respond more to me. Maybe his heart is opening to God and to me as I have prayed. And it could be because of my prayer, my heart has been opened more also, and by learning to be a better wife, I am learning to take the time to see his responses. Either way, I'm glad I found this book!

If you have been looking for a way to get closer to God and you husband, I encourage you to pick up this book. Her website is http://unveiledwife.com/wife-after-god/. You can purchase the book from her site through Amazon or for your kindle. I don't think you will be disappointed in this decision! 

cheers y'all: Wife After God Thoughts and Reflections {Link-Up}

Some people

So I wrote this rant last week on Facebook about what not to say to a pregnant woman. It really just amazes me the audacity some people have. Or lack of filter. Or common sense...

I don't understand how people think certain comments are ok. Especially the ones about a pregnant woman's size. I had someone tell me during my first pregnancy I looked like I would go any day. I was 6 months pregnant! So for the last three months, I thought I was huge and was embarrassed. I WAS NOT HUGE. Not at all. But comments like that towards women at a time when they already feel less attractive because of their changes does not help.

What the commenters fail to understand is they have no idea who this person is. And even if they know them, they may not really "know" them. They may not know that this person is already a mother, with 1, 2, 3, etc. kids running around at home, and she is beyond exhausted and doesn't see the point in dressing up to go to the grocery store. She isn't Kim Kardashian and why the hell would she want to be??

Or they don't know that this woman is struggling with her first (or sequential) pregnancy and the thoughts of "is my husband still attracted to me?" Sometimes, this goes through even the strongest woman's head and heart. Physical appearances are put to the front line entirely too much in this country. I hate to tell ya, but Barbie would look like a whale if she were pregnant! Ok, maybe not, but I like the thought.

They may not know that this woman will be a single mother and is just simply struggling in general.

People don't realize how a simple statement can make someone's day. She doesn't need to hear she is small for this point. That will only make her worry she is not gaining enough weight, and may be hurting her baby. She certainly doesn't need to hear the reverse. The best thing you can say to any pregnant woman is simply "You look great, dear."

And on the same topic, the question of "Are you gonna have another?" and "Don't you think it's time already?" are just as rude. You don't know the couple's story! Maybe this pregnancy was hard enough on the mother and she just wants to focus on having a healthy delivery of this one child before thinking of another. Maybe they have been trying for years to no avail. You don't know if this couple prays every day for a child, and this statement is just a slap in the face. Either way, the couple has probably put their childbearing life in God's hands, and it is up to Him. SO BACK OFF.

Rant over. :-) Yes I feel better now.

My learnings

Have I mentioned that I thoroughly enjoy meeting with my doula monthly? I feel as if I have learned so much through our meetings, my own research, and the books she lets me borrow. 

I am currently reading The Doula Guide to Birth by Ananda Lowe and Rachel Zimmerman. After reading the introductions alone, I wonder why we don't have births like the women did a hundred years ago, with other women by our side to support us. Why have we gotten into the mindset that we don't need help, and can manage this (birth and post partum) on our own? 

I remember times of sadness and feeling alone after my first delivery only have my mother say "You are fine, you need to learn how to deal." Because that is what she was told I guess. 

We need someone supportively saying "You will loose sleep, romance, freedom. It is perfectly ok not to soothe every cry. You don't have to do everything yourself." Just as we need someone to say before we get married "It's ok not to always agree. Don't be afraid to rock the boat. The first few years are HARD, but you will get through them." Especially since most girls grow up with this fantasy idea of the perfect marriage and being a mother. 

I continue to look forward to this delivery after what I have learned and continue to learn. I am so happy that I found a doula who will help me try to obtain the experience I want so that my husband and I can enjoy the birth of our second child. And I looked forward to my daughter to be a big sister.