In these two chapters, Jacob is frightened by the idea that his brother is angry and will harm him. God already told him to go home and God will protect him. But Jacob's fear, especially when he hears Esau is coming with 400 men, takes over. He tries to divide up the camp in case one is overtaken, the other shall continue. He tries to send droves of animals ahead to appease Esau. And when Esau did show up, Esau ran to Jacob and embraced him! Forgiveness is powerful. As powerful as guilt.
This is same way Jesus wants to have us. He wants to find those who have turned away and run to them and embrace them. He wants to forgive them for their transgressions and have them back in the family. It is our guilt that prevents us from being found. We try to hide when we have done something wrong, or try to buy back people's affection. Jesus doesn't want that, and neither did Esau. He was just so happy his brother had returned.
Lord, I ask forgiveness daily yet I am weary to give it to others in fear of being hurt again. But I know that you forgive unconditionally, even though you know i may fall again. Please help me to not be fearful in seeking forgiveness and in giving forgiveness where it is needed. Amen